Mas, kamu buat penasaran siapa lagi sih?

11 Juni 2015

Ketika itu aku sedang memutuskan untuk membuat sebuah blog lagi dengan domain blogspot, karena blog wordpress tidak bisa edit-edit CSS kalau tidak premium dan aku sedang ingin bermain-man dengan kode html. Kemudian aku menuju profil google+ untuk mencari teman-teman pemakai blogspot dan aku menemukan dua orang teman sesama jurusan yang suka menulis di sana. Pertama dia teman dekatku yang sudah memakai blogger sejak lama dan sebenarnya aku sudah tahu link-nya dia. Jadi aku agak kecewa kenapa aku harus menemukan dia lagi zzzzt, bukan yang lain saja. Kedua, temanku yang bernama Juni. Aku tidak pernah dekat dengan Juni. Yang aku tahu dari dia, dia adalah anggota breakdance jurusan kami yanag suka memakai rok span hitam pendek dan sepatu kets.

Kemudia aku scrolling halaman dia dari awal. Rupanya dia bukan tipe penulis yang suka menulis beberapa kali dalam satu minggu. Hanya ada satu-dua post dalam satu bulan. Templatenya-pun template otomatis dari blogger, jadi sepertinya dia jarang mengurus settingan (yang tidak seperti aku yang dikit-dikit suka otak atik. Postingan terakhir bulan lalu tentang mantannya yang tak terlupakan, yang ke-dua dan ke-empat tentang … wait, wait, wait.
Continue reading

Diary Ramadhan (3)

Mas RPA.

Malam itu, aku bermimpi tentang dia. Dia bilang, dia rindu padaku. Sungguh, delusi yang indah. Keesokan harinya, ada sms dari dia. Entah kenapa dan aku benar-benar tak habis pikir. Oh tidak, dia tidak berkata bahwa dia rindu padaku. Dia berkata, “Dis Gadis, makasih ya, makasiiiii banget :D”

I knew what is it all about.

Kita smsan juga sih akhirnya. Dia bilang, dia sekarang sedang pedekate dengan temanku. Iya, temanku yang pernah kuceritakan waktu itu. Cantik, putih, tinggi, semampai. Iya. he is really smitten over her.

Sakit.

Cause you know, one time, I had a feeling for him. and eventually, he loves my friend.

Hal ini, memaksaku membuat suatu kesimpulan bahwa, pada dasarnya laki-laki itu melihat perempuan dari sisi keelokannya.

He.

He doesn’t even say hi to me, and I always looked like an idiot smiling. I wasted all my time on someone who wasn’t even worth it. Someone who didn’t care about me. But because of that love I felt for him, I left everyone else who was worth my time.

I can’t make you love me, nor can I make you see me nor can I make you choose me over her nor can I make you have interest in me. But what I can do is make you miss me that you regret the day you lost me.

Love is a temporary madness

…it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

– Louis de Bernières

Beautiful Nightmare

Last night, I dreamt about R. I had a crush on him, long time ago. He is my classmates in college. I don’t know why I had a crush on him actually. He was very attractive to me, just attractive the way he is. I have not been in love with him since I knew he had a girlfriens. Well, that’s pretty sick. I’m in love with the boy, he got a girlfriend, end of story.

On my dream, he had a crush with me. I was pretty confuse, but I enjoy it. haha. He was very romantic to me, he was nice to me, even he held my hand, and hugged me. Of course, I was so happy, I am. That was a sweet dream.

Even on my dream, my cruel evil step dad finally said apologize because he did something bad to me.

but overall, that was only a beautiful nightmare. It is only a dream. R, he got a girlfriend. My cruel evil stepdad, he would never ever say apologize to me after what he done.