First of all, I thank all of you for the birthday wishes. I feel loved and grateful. After all this year, you guys still remember me, and still being my friend no matter how weird and cranky I am sometimes (or maybe often, or always, I don’t know — you decide :D). I feel loved because even though I don’t care about my birthday thingy, yet you guys still care about it. So, I am sending this virtual hug to all of of my friends, and all of you who spend your time by reading this: I love you too guys!
When exactly my birthday is?
On facebook, my birthday is September 27th. However, my birthday is not exactly 27th. For those of you who sending me birthday notes on 27th, don’t worry! I still appreciate it. I just don’t like putting my actual birthday on social media. But yes, I’m Libra gal 🙂
This post is my self reflection and the reason behind I don’t bother about getting old. I’m learning to know myself and find out the core issues on why I don’t like celebrating my birthday. I even told my mom on my birthday that I hated that day. I felt so sorry for saying that to her, and she seemed disappointed, but that is how I felt. I was just being honest (or probably too honest).
I don’t like celebrating this year because I’m getting old. Meaning — I’m supposed to be maturer. But the fact is, I don’t think I’m mature enough for my age. I feel like I have not done enough with my life. Meanwhile, I live in the society where I should have achieved a lot of things in my age: steady place, steady income, getting married, and the list can go on and on. It doesn’t mean that I’m not being grateful for what I have now, but as a first daughter, life is tough. And this mid-twenties girl kind of feel overwhelmed with this hella situation.
You probably might say, “Dis, chillax“. Chill and relax. But probably, most of you also already know that I’m “a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection”. And I’m kind of person who being hard on myself. So, you can say that this bloody overwhelmed situation is created by my own self.
But, yeah, as my best friend said, “You are just being you, Gadis”. :))
The second reason on why I don’t bother getting old is because I have been drowning myself on working. I am also a leader of a community program and a coordinator of an upcoming festival. I don’t have time to think about what should I do and have on my birthday like usual, because I literally have no time. Yet, I am fine with it because that is my choice. I have bunch of important things to do and I decided to focus on it, instead of thinking about myself.
But don’t worry peeps! I still have fun a lot since I have a lot of nice people in my office. I also work with my best friend, because she is also the founder of the aforementioned community program. I have friends who care about me and willing to spend their time to listen to me whenever I need to 🙂
What I have learned all of this year?
I have changed a lot. To be a better person, and more acknowledge and appreciate myself.
I’ve learned to not to give a 💩 to all of people. I don’t have to care about what people think about me the entire time. I’ve learned about when someone is worth my explanation and when someone is not. I’ve learned that I should not runaway to all of my problems. It is okay to be vulnerable because I am not perfect. Embracing vulnerability is not a weakness, because nothing worthwhile comes without risk. The older I am, the more I feel comfortable as myself. :))
That’s a wrap. And again, thanks to all of you who stay with me after all this time.