English vs Bahasa

At the beginning, I’m very sorry for my English native speaker follower because this year I tend to writes in Bahasa Indonesia. Hahaha. The last time I wrote in English was on May. It was a poem named a heart on the boots, then another poem on April named afraid, which is about me, because sometimes I’m afraid of little things and I felt so small in this world. Who are you, who am I, who we are? on March, when I felt like nobody knows me. And about a friend here.

Sometimes when I sad, angry, lonely, or confused, I tend to write poems. I don’t care whether it is a good or a bad poem or whether people gonna like it or not, as long as I can drain my feelings, I don’t care. šŸ˜€

And the interesting one is this: 18/03/15, I wasn’t a poem, but it was a diary when I had to be a volunteer of deaf person and apparently she was very annoying. However, I forgot who was it! XD.

There are still some of them, but it was just my ordinary diary.

So, actually I was eluded to write in English because of two things:

First, I lost of my confidence in writing in English and the problem is of course the grammar. You can found out there are so many errors in my sentences. I got C+ on my structure course in the first semester (Yes, and I admit it). I want to retake it, but I’m not allowed. The minimum score if you want to retake the course is C. It was so ridiculous. I don’t care about the score, I just want to improve my awry grammar. Thus, I decided to learn by myself from google (of course! ;)), but the information was random. This page said A, and then that page said B, and so on. I need teacher and someone to talk in English.

However, I got .. no one. Seeing that my friends are also learners too and they can’t give a certainty and only few of them that want to practice in English through speaking. The rest said, we were put on airs.

I’m not giving up, but I just not confident enough.

Second. It was in the class. The teacher ask us what is difference of simple past tense and simple perfect tense. It was easy question, because I read about it the night before. However, nobody raise their hands.

In order that, I think one way to respect out teacher is to pay his/her attention and answer his/her question, I said that simple past tense is deal with a finish action with a finished time word like last week, last month, yesterday, etc, but simple perfect is deal with unfinished time. Yet, the teacher has her own interpretation and said that I was wrong, although it was implied.

And I lost my confidence again.


It was 1:00 AM, but I have to get up at 2.30 AM, because I have a promise to dad that I have to wake him up at 2.30 AM. In order that, I decided to not to sleep and keep writing. I think I would be OK, besides It is so cold here, still having cough like 3 weeks, and still allergic to stupid shrimp and egg. I will be a vegetarian for a little while. and I’m happy! šŸ˜€

9 thoughts on “English vs Bahasa

  1. Senasib mbaak, pingin nulis inggris tapi merasa kemampuan bahasa Inggrisku makin jelek aja, jadinya nggak PD nulis deh.
    Padahal semakin nggak dilatih justru semakin menurun ya šŸ˜¦

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  2. Ayo belajar bahasa Inggris lagi Mbak… salah tak apa dan kehilangan kepercayaan diri boleh tapi jangan terlalu lama soalnya kalau kelamaan malah betul-betul tidak bisa. Ini buktinya Mbak bisa menulis dengan flow yang menurut saya bagus :hehe.

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